Don't give up on love
by Mitay
Summary: The best of both worlds. Strong yet gentle. Tough yet vulnerable. Honest yet kind. How could I not fall in love with him? He's got everything at once that all the others have combined. He is all of his types in once perfectly beautiful and strong body. I knew this could cost me a very good friendship but it was worth it.
1. chapter 1

Hi everyone,

I've been reading a lot of stories with much joy. now I've written something myself as a tryout. i'd like to know what you think of my first chapter. I haven't tried anything like this before so please notify me here i can learn to improve myself.

also English is not my first language so i might have made mistakes or weird sentences. please excuse me for that.

i dont own anything about the character's.

AU, BL, Kaname/Zero, try out

CHAPTER 1

"Hmmf " I can hear myself moan in discomford. As I try to turn on to my right side I can feel a uneasy stiffness in my back between my shoulders. 'God, last night was sure as hell a rough one.' As I open up my eyes I can see the piercing sunlight entering my bedroom. No, no this was not my bedroom. As soon as realisation strikes I sit up and look around. I hear someone take a deep breath right next to me. I look at the figure lying next to me. All I can see is the top of the head with silver hear escaping from underneath the blankets. I gasped as I recognize the person laying in the same bed as I had slept. Looking around everything from last night fell in place. 'Me and Zero!?' No that couldn't be.

I get out of bed as quite as possible so I won't wake Zero up. I try to find all of my belongings and clothes. While tiptoe-ing trough Zero's room I bump my little toe against his desk and I can hardly suppress my urge to scout. "Are you oke?" I squeak and turn around slowly facing the bedside of the room. Zero lies on his belly with his arms wrapped around his pillow. His eyes look still a bit tired yet they hold sparkles like he has gathered all the stars and kept them in his eyes. His pale skin has a healthy, wel taken care of glow and his soft pink lips are opened up in a relaxed manner. I can feel my cheeks turn red as my body heat rises. This can't be real.

Zero frowns as he is still waiting for me to awnser his question. "I, I..." my heartbeat accelerates leaving me to take a deep breath to try and calm down. "I'm fine." Not really convincing but it is at least a response. Zero pinches his eyes but doesn't make any comments suggesting that he is on to my doubts. "Where are you going?" He asked me. "Home." I said. How was I going to explain this to Shenri?

~2 months earlier~

Kaname is out to meet with some friends at a local bar. They hang out there quite often. Today would be different though. Shenri was bringing two friends along and Yuki would bring a cousin. He's heard a lot of stories bout these people which made him question the stories they knew since both his friends were really good at gossiping.

In this group of friends, Kaname, Shenri, Yuki and Hanabusa, Kaname was known to be a male slut. Not only that. It was always a surprise who and what he ended up bringing home. Both male and female would do and Kaname was never really picky when it comes to a one night stand. Just as long as they move out when he was done with them.

Walking down the street Kaname could already see Yuki standing outside the bar with a tall blonde man. He had a somewhat familiar face. Yuki looks up and starts scouting towards Kaname. "Look who I brought!! I told you it would be someone cool." Now Kaname recognised the man. It was Kaien, the troublemaker at Yuki's birthday. For some reason everything he touched and everyone he spoke to, something went wrong. It made the party twice as hilarious yet twice as troublesome.

Then Shenri and Hanabusa came from across the street followed by a woman with long toffeed coloured hair waiving over her shoulders. The man had silver hair lavender coloured eyes. Kaname stares at him for a moment unable to hear that Shenri has already tried to introduce the woman he brought along.

"Kaname!" Shenri looks at him with a bored expression and raises an eyebrow while observing Kaname's embarrassed look. "Seriously can I never bring someone along safely? Anyway, this is Ruka, one of my former classmates." Kaname shakes her hand briefly wondering what the man's name would be. It must be something unique just like his looks. "And this," Shenri continues "this is Zero." Kaname shakes the man's hand and felt surprised by the softness of his skin. It didn't feel like a man's hand at all. The group then enters the bar and take a seat.

Shenri quickly takes Kaname back for a second "He's not prey material. If you do anything stupid, anything to hurt him, even look at him for too long, I'll make you regret your decision for a lifetime." Shenri sounded serious and threatening. Just as quick as he got serious he turned back to himself and joined the group with a sparkly smile. Kaname didn't know why but apparently Zero was off limits to him.

As the night proceeded Zero seemed to try and get Kaname's attention. Constantly showing up where Kaname stood, locking eyes with him and smiling in an innocent matter. Kaname didn't know what to think of it yet kept as much distance as he could. Eventually the two ended up at the man's restroom at the same time. Alone. "What did Shenri say to make you back off?" Kaname was taken aback and didn't quite know what to say other than the truth. Zero listened carefully and busted out in laughter. "He's such a dickhead sometimes. Don't take him too seriously. I am capable of making my own decisions and what could you possibly do to hurt me?" Zero smiled at Kaname soothing his uncomfortable feeling standing in the same room as he does.

By the end of the night Kaname and Zero exchanged phone numbers and soon they started texting. It didn't take Kaname very long to find out Zero was hurt by people who claimed to love him very often. That was probably the reason Shenri told him to stay away. Kaname was all about one night stands and unable to keep up a relationship. Zero turned out to be a very naive and trusting person ready to do everything for someone he loved. This made him vulnerable. Kaname kept him at a distance because of it. Despite the fact that Zero was off limits and a few years younger, Kaname couldn't help but noticing his heartbeat raised with every text message he got from Zero.

As the conversations started to get more and more personal Kaname started to love the image he got from Zero. He even talked to Shenri about it trying to find out if Zero was still a no go for him. Even now he had a feeling he could actually bond with him. "No! I won't allow you to get so close to him Kaname. Find yourself another fuckboy for the weekends. He's told you his heart wasn't just broken but purposely crushed and abusd yet you still won't back away." Shenri's face turned slightly red of anger when Kaname approached him. He thought he had been clear about Zero. "Why do you care so much anyway?" Kaname asked him " I don't intend to hurt him I just really want to get to know him. You can't get pissed with me for something I feel!" Kaname started to raise his voice as he felt like he was not being taken seriously. For God's sake how could he make Shenri believe him?

Current time

Zero sat up and stares at me with a questioning look. "What's the rush?" I didn't know how to awnser. I had to promise Shenri not to go down this road, whether I liked it or not, but Zero was off limits and he would stay that way. He has been a close friend to Shenri and together they shared a lot of personal dramas. Every time Zero got hurt it took Shenri months to get Zero back on track and knowing I was the slut of the group he didn't trust me at all. That's why he kept Zero away from me all these years. Shenri already feared I would fall for Zero's looks but he never imagined me actually falling in love.

"Lets get some breakfast before you leave" Zero said as he got out of bed. "I would like that but I need to go." I looked down a little worried this might hurt his feeling already because it sure hurts my own. "Still worried about Shenri? You know, he told me all about you and your lifestyle. I knew what I was getting myself into Kaname." Zero paused and stood with his back towards me. Every inch of me wanted to grab him and tell him this time it wasn't the same but Zero was already ahead of me. "How many times has it happened before that you actually get to know someone before ending up in the same bed? How many people do you share your feeling with? When was the last time you got shy because of a compliment you were given?" Zero now looked at me with a comforting smile. "I'll handle Shenri, you just come with me and enjoy breakfast together." My heart jumped by the way he was so calm and sweet.

Could Zero really get it into Shenri's head that Zero was special to him? Why was Zero even special? I didn't know myself. I just knew it the moment i looked at him. Zero was a perfect example of a balanced man with feminine characteristics and looks. The best of both worlds. Strong yet gentle. Tough yet vulnerable. Honest yet kind. How could I not fall in love with him? He's got everything at once that all the others have combined. He is all of his types in once perfectly beautiful and strong body. I knew this could cost me a very good friendship but it was worth it. Eventually I have to go for my own happiness. And for the first time in my life I actually believe I can achieve that goal with someone. I will achieve it! As long as I keep fighting for it. I won't back away from Zero anymore. I won't be afraid of what Shenri and the others might think and I won't let their opinion weigh down on me.


	2. Senri knows

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CHAPTER 2

-Zero POV.-

As I take a shower I can hear Kaname walk around my apartment. He didn't want to join me in and I just can't find out why. I know Senri has been, well, not so kind to him. At least not when I was the topic of their conversations. But that shouldn't be a reason for someone like Kaname, whom in all story's I heard does what ever he wants to, to be so nervous after a night like we had. Senri already told me Kaname had some sort of fear for commitment. He wasn't easy to bond with and only cared for the friends he had since childhood or so it seemed. Senri was one of those friends but neither one of them fully trusted the other. They had just grown to accept an respect one another. There was no actual dislike... But they didn't seem to really like each other either. When I asked Senri why he didn't really responded tried to convince me otherwise. Guess I'll have to find out other ways.

As I walk out of my bathroom in my towel Kaname looks at me and almost immediately turns red. As if his memories of last night are almost completely whipped out. "What's wrong? Nothing you haven't seen yet, is it?" I asked him in with a teasing voice. His lips curled up a little and he shook his head. "That's true. It's kind off different though. I usually don't look at someone walking out of the bathroom in a towel the night after." His face turned red as he confesses his bad habit of throwing people out minutes after having sex in the middle of the night. All I could do was laugh faintly. "Guess I'm the first then. Does that make me special?" Kaname looks at me and his already red face nearly starts to glow in a even brighter shade of red which now covers his ears and neck as well. I wonder if the red shade went down his chest as well. I just grin at the thought of it.

Together we clean up the kitchen after breakfast and get ourselves dressed. "Kaname... your clothes! They really smell!" I say as the strong fragrance of alcohol hit my brain as if I just drank a whole bottle of booze in one go."please let me wash them for you. I've got a dryer it'll be clean before lunch." Oh god I hope he'll let me wash it. I can't let anyone leave my apartment smelling this bad. Kaname seems to be lost in his thoughts. Due to the alcoholic smell I fail to ask him what's on his mind. After a short silence he takes of his shirt and gives it to me. "All of it?" He askes raining one eyebrow. "Yeah! All of it. I can't believe you can't smell that!" My voice skips to a painful high pitch and back to normal during my question. Now I'm the one who starts getting a red glow on my face. "Where did that come from?" Kaname askes me with a smile on his face. I didn't want to say anything afraid my voice will skip again only to make Kaname laugh at me. I scrape my throat and try to sound confident like i dont care "it happens sometimes." I look at Kaname hoping he didn't notice I was slightly embarrassed.

While his clothes are in the washing machine Kaname sits uncomfortable on my couch. He is wearing nothing but my boxer and he seems fully aware of me staring at him. On my phone I read a text from Senri.

'You're kidding me right!? I warned you! Don't come crying when you realise I was right!'

Hanabusa must have told Senri Zero and I walked in on him last night. We just left the bar where I met Kaname. I had asked him out for a drink on several occasions yet he always turned me down saying he was already meeting someone. Yesterday he strolled around the mall on his own as I accidentally bumbed into him. Now at least I had a argument as in why he had to join me to have a drink.

I wasn't in love with him at first sight. Curious mostly. This was the man of all those story's Senri and Yuki told me in both disgust and in laughter. As Senri was a really good friend of mine (and Yuki tagged along from time to time) I wanted to meet the friend he said he didn't consider a friend yet referred to him as such. Senri himself made Kaname sound so interesting and here he was not wanting me to hang out with him. During our time texting I got to know him and started to long for more. I wanted to talk to him face to face, tell him more about myself and hear his voice. I really wanted to hear about his family, childhood, fears and dreams. Needles to say Senri, once again, felt like I was going for the wrong person.

'I am serious. And I don't regret anything. Just wanted to let you know that you should leave him alone. Don't pester him with your opinions and thoughts or theaths. I've enjoyed myself for the first time in a while'

As I hit the send button Kaname gets up. "How long are you going to stand there looking at me and texting?" He askes in a slightly irritated voice. I look at him even more. Suddenly he walk straight towards me with a demanding attitude with no sign of insecurity left. "What were you texting about. I don't know if you're aware of what it may look like but-" No, insecurity is still there so I cut him off before he could start suggesting anything. " I texted Senri back. I guess Hanabusa must have told him we ran in to him and now I've told him about the good time we had." Kaname's shoulders tensed up. He has a worried frown on his forehead and looks at me with a dead on serious face. "This will become troublesome." "Not if you won't allow it. It's not up to Senri who to hang out with or anything like that you know." Kaname tilts his head and says "we will find out soon won't we. If Senri dislikes something he won't try to hide it."

-Kaname POV.-

'If you mess this up I'll drink every drip of blood your body posseses!!!!'

I sit on my bed reading this message over and over not really knowing how to awnser. Is he saying that I should take care of Zero, or that I should back off. I'm not afraid of Senri. I can take him on anytime but it's not like I can do much because of Zero. I know for sure if I say something wrong to Senri he'll get upset with me. Or at least.. That's my guess. I didn't think I would end up at Zero's place. I hate sleepovers and normally I can't sleep anywhere but at home. Yesterday with Zero, he made me feel so much more comfortable in my own skin. He made me feel something I didn't know was possible. He welcomed me in his home like I've been there a thousand times. It was all just so natural, unlike anything I've experienced before. My phone starts buzzing and I open a new text.

'Where are you? I've been waiting for almost half an hour!'

Shit! I can't use one of my FWB right now.

'I'm sorry Rima. I forgot. It won't happen again. We won't be meeting anymore. Again, sorry'

I put my phone on the bed next to me but it almost immediately starts ringing.

It's Takuma and he hardly ever calls. I pick up the phone and as soon as I put the phone to my ears Takuma starts shouting. "Stupid! You really messed up this time! How can you be such a fool? Of all the people you could choose from you take home the one person you were told not to!! Seriously how do you think you can fix this? You know Senri isn't going to be easy on you now huh?" I keep my phone away a bit yet I can still hear Takuma going on about how stupid I have been. "Could you start breathing for a second and hear me out? First of all... I took NOBODY home!" "Where'd you go?" Takuma sounds a bit surpriced knowing I don't go to other people's places for the night. "Zero invited me for a drink and we ended up in his place. We've been there talking at first an-" Takuma interrupts me with disbelieve in his voice." You went to his home? Have you ever even been there before? And Senri told me Zero said you only left a few hours ago."

Thats true. It's already past nine and I got home around half past seven. That was all because of my clothes. Zero said it would be clean before lunch. I don't know if it was his way of keeping me there, or if he genuinely didn't know his washing machine alone would take almost two hours to clean. Then of course it had to dry off. Don't get me started on that drama. I guess not all clothingbrands are capable of surviving a dryer. Or maybe some dryers are just pure evil when it comes to other peoples clothes. Or mabye Zero just didn't know how to use that thing. Eventually I had to borrow something from Zero's closet. Luckily he had some wide shirts and exactly one jeans that fit me. We had fun though. Well fun... I got to know Zero a lot better.

"Kaname... are you feeling well? Don't you have a fever or any other fysical discomfort?" I can't hold back my laughter as Takuma seems really worried. "We just had a great night and he took all the initiatives." There is a short silence Takuma askes "all the initiatives? Kaname should I come over and just... you know... take care of you? You really sound a bit off. I'm right around the corner I can stop by. Kaname? You sure you're not sick?"

Sick? No I'm not sick. Or is falling in love really a disease? In that case I'm probably terminally ill. Fever? Yeah, I've been heating up and cooling down a lot these past 24 hours. Discomfort? Yeah. My back still hurts. It's still stiff and I have yet to figure out how that even happened. I can hear a loud noice somewhere in the background but I just cant seem to focus as my mind lingeres on for a little while when I hear Takuma's loud voice again. "Kaname! Open up already!" I look at my phone and walk towards the door a little confused. As I open up I stare right into green eyes filled with both irritation and worry.

\- Zero POV-

"Senri this is different and I-" Senri looks at me with a disappointed expression. " you should just see it yourself. I must admit all this doesn't add up for the usual Kaname I know. But it's still Kaname. You never know when his fuckbuddys show up or if an actual ex girlfriend comes storming in for some sort of explanation as for why he broke up by disappearing or whatever. Can you handle that? Meeting all of those faces that shared your current spot? Running into people that claim Kaname like he's some sort of property?" I didn't even give it a though. I'm sure. I want to keep going out on dates with Kaname and I'm sure eventually everyone will know were together. Then insecurity hits me. Will we ever be together? Or am I just another number in his phone? Does he tell everyone they're special? Or is it really just me?

Senri must have seen the worry in my expression. " Look Zero. I know people can really fall in love and get together with someone. But Kaname... He... " Senri looks down unable to finish his sentence. He takes a deep breath and decides to try again "Kaname can be great as a friend. Even better as a close friend. He just sucks at love. I've seen this happen before. Maybe it was slightly different... Or... oke it was different. A lot I guess if I'm honest. Point is, he made it all seem like he opened up to someone and then when she got really serious he turned her down. Wasn't ready for commitment, didn't love her anymore, it all went to fast and all of that. He's truly a great friend sometimes and everyone can lean on him. He'll clean up everyone's mess. But he also really sucks at love. And so do you Zero, since you always find a way to end up with men who only use or abuse you. Stop that!"

"She..." was all I could really say. Senri looks at me raising an eyebrow. "You mean, Yuki? Kaname told me about her. And how he thought he was in love with her." I already knew this story filled with heardbreaking events and disappointment. Kaname himself already warned me about his fears and flaws. "Kaname told you?" Senri seems surprised to hear that. "He never wants to talk about it with any of us." Senri sits up in a more comfortable and relaxed position in the corner of my couch. He makes a face and looks back at me. "Oke let's make a deal. He hurts you feelings, you're on your own this time. But as long as things go well, I'll try and be fully supportive to you. " hearing that Kaname told me about his relationship with Yuki must have some sort of impact on Senri. Out of the blue he wants to accept my choice and didn't even treathen to harm him his time. Could it be he was genuine about supporting this growing love affair? Did he really changed his mind that easy?

okay so i coudnt sleep and added wrote some more for i instantly had some inspiration at 2 in the morning hope you enjoy


	3. Meeting Yuki at the bar And the others?

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CHAPTER 3

Two weeks later

Kaname POV.-

Yuki asked me to come to our usual bar to have a chat. Nothing out of the ordinary except for the fact that the inventation didn't come naturally from a small talk phone call. She just texted me to meet her there. As I walked in the bar I could already see her sitting at our familiar table. "You sure know how to invite people these days don't you?" Is ask her as I sit down across her. "Yeah I'm sorry. It was a impulse really but we do need to talk." This serious tone of voice didn't appeal to me at all. "I spoke to Senri and Hanabusa." I am already done with this conversation. The direction it is heading is not what I came here for. "Listen. I'm happy you finally told someone about your feeling and gave an explanation that actually made some sence." Wait what? What did she know? Was Zero just as talkative as Hanabusa and Yuki? "What do you mean?" I don't want to put words in her mouth. I need to hear from her.

"Why can you tell Zero why you broke up and not me? Why couldn't you open up to me? Why does Zero know about your relationship with your parents and I don't even know their names? We've been together for several months and I don't know these things?" "Yuki, first of all, it's been two years. Are you seriously still bugged about it? Secondly, why do I need to tell you why I told Zero? We we're talking and it was just the right person at the right time. He made me feel like there was plenty of room to discuss those matters. All my conversations with you ended up about how you felt about my shit or my day. Every conversation you wanted to have about my life ended up with your feeling either being hurt or your opinion being pushed down on me. You even had to complain about my way of washing my hair!" I can't hide my agitated expression and Yuki awnsers mine with one of her own.

Before we can continue Hanabusa, Senri and Takuma walk into the bar. Now the game is on. I can feel my heartbeat rise and my right leg starts moving nearly uncontrollable. I can't handle another agrument with someone about what I do or how I feel. This has to be the worse meeting we ever had. They sit down at our table and ask if we had already started the conversation. "You haven't really missed anything." Yuki looks at me from the corner of her eyes. Hanabusa, who sat down right next to me, let out a loud sign of relief. "I was already afraid we were to late." "Don't worry were not here to make a scene or to put you down Kaname" Takuma, who sat down across Hanabusa, crosses his arms and looks straight to Senri who is sitting at the head of the table. "There are some things we need to talk about and since you've been avoiding me-" Senri starts but I feel a unstoppable urge to interrupt him at his statement.

"I did not avoid you Senri. I'm just not in the mood to hear your constant theaths and complains." Oke I've been avoiding him. It's not that weird is it? "As I was about to say" Senri continues, ignoring what I said, "I just need to know how serious you think you are with Zero and how long you think you can keep this up." I just glare at Senri. Did he really say that? Keep this up. Is he really thinking I'm taking Zero for a lovestruck fool or a game? Does he even know me? "Takuma told us you were pretty fluffy two weeks ago. It's not something we could rhyme with your usual self." Hanabusa looks at me resting his head on his fist. He's got a goofy, nearly teasing look on his face. His eyes are shimmering with curiosity. "I... I guess I just really..." I look down at my hands nervously clenching my fists. " I just fell in love I guess." I can't say it out loud so I have to whisper. It is the only and most honest awnser I can give them. I need to be honest since they already think I'm taking an advantage of Zero. How could I anyways. They probably know how he is and I might be known to be a slut... But i never took someone home who didn't know it was a one night only. Or someone who I knew had actual feeling for me. Hell, I'd run for those lovestrucken puppy's as fast as I can.

Yuki looks at me with a dreamy expression in her eyes. "I've hear that one before huh.what I'd like to know is what's different this time and-" Hanabusa interrupts Yuki's upcoming speech " I've never seen you become so soft before. What did Zero do to enchant you like this? Or do you secretly prefer men over women after all?" Hanabusa throws a oblique look in Yuki's direction signing this must be the awnser she was looking for. "I don't know. I don't know why I don't know what. All I know now... is that the more I talk to him, the more I like him." I just awnser Hanabusa's question with a brutal honest voice as I avoid anyone's eyes. Somehow they don't seem convinced.

I am right, as usual. Senri gets up stating he doesn't need to hear more. "You can't even tell us what you plan on doing, if you will be capable or even willing to keep up this loveydovey act of yours. GOD KANAME! When will you just learn to leave our other friends alone. No Kaname must seduce every new person introduced to this group. Why?" Senri's working himself up in anger for no reason if you ask me. I get up as well facing Senri. "What I plan on doing? Well I'm sorry for falling for the wrong person, I'm sorry if it didn't show up in your previous plan when you brought him in. But I'm going to love that man for his looks, his personality, his body, his mindset, his soul, his flaws and even his poor taste of best friends!" I turned around to walk towards the restroom as Senri grabs me by the arm. "If anything you say right now is a freaking lie, you should prepare yourself for some serious torture Kaname." I pull my arm out of his grip and walk away.

As I wash my hands in the men's restroom I can't help but wondering why I am even trying to excuse myself for loving someone. How did I sink down to this level. For now on I'll just be me and I'll do as I please. Then Hanabusa walks in. "Don't worry to much. Eventually it'll all work out the way it should. The only reason this conversation was arranged is so you can just be honest without Senri going crazy over nothing." Hanabusa pauses and frowns hit eyebrows,"And I'm sorry he did anyways. At least it didnt run out of hands. It's his closest friend were talking about you know." Hanabusa tries to calm my thoughts and doubts, which he is usually good at, but this time I guess I'll have to prove my worthiness of Zero's affection. Wait what? Did that really go trough my mind just now? If only Senri could read my mind at times like these. Then we would understand. Oke stop Kaname, what are you thinking?

I walked back into the bar finding Yuki and Takuma sitting with a cup of coffee. Apparently Senri has left since i don't see him around anymore. Yuki and Takuma seem to be sitting real close to eachother wispering in their conversation. I don't know what they're talking about and since Hanabusa just storms out of the restroom yelling I guess I won't find out anytime soon. "Get it off of meeeeee!" Hanabusa is screaming childishly, dancing around grabbing in the direction of his back. "Get what off?" I ask him as I just stared at him freaking out. "That freaking spider! KILL IIIIIT!" The sound is starting to impale my brain as he is screaming in a shrieking voice. At this point Hanabusa is running in circles back and forth trough the bar and people are watching him with the biggest combined fictional question mark in the air I've ever witnessed. "Shut up and hold still will you. That spider is already suffering from extreme nausea because of your wild psycho dance and I can't see anything like this." Yeah I know, I am trying to calm him down but it isn't my best quality. And to be honest, I hardly ever try to calm someone. Normally I would just leave the site for drama is not very high on my amusement list. But for now someone has to do it. But his fear of spiders though... is starting to get to my nerves.


End file.
